Spat!!! Here comes the first drop of rain standing as a pimple at the tip of my nose. 👃 The cold breeze slapping against my cheeks and the little amount of hair left doing a march-past ̶ left, right, left. “Quack, quack!” says the heart, “I crave something lekker (tasty), something warm and pittig (spicy).” I sprint to the nearest food joint and look around. My eyes on a quest, my heart with a zest and my stomach not at rest, alas, all I see is oliebollen, kroket, frietjes 🍟 en frikandel. 🌭I sink in a frown. “Grrr! I’d rather take a siesta,” cries my stomach. 😴All I can think of is a lip-smacking Vada Pav🍔 or some Pakodas. I try my hand at the nearest restaurant. Frantically looking through the menu with dranken (beverages), voorgerecht (appetizer), hoofdgerecht (main course) en nagerecht (dessert). Taking a breath at voorgerecht and eyes widening, “Do I see it?” I murmur. Making a crooked face 😏my brain is now on a 1000 volt thinking spree.🧠 “Stamppot, hutspot, and all the pots,🍯 but where is what I want?” “Oh, by the way, there is a tikfout (typo) in frietjes spelt with an ‘ie’ and not an ‘ei’,” says the linguist in me.
Content that I can also spot errors after learning Dutch, gives a little satiation to the crave. 😎“Do I want to spend a € 12 for a Pav Bhaji at my Indian restaurant or shall I spring to 29 spices for my Vada Pav?” 🤔 “Maybe, 🌹 maybe not, 🌹 maybe, 🌹 maybe not.” 🌹 “Ik moet bezuinigen,” says the wise girl in me (I must save). “How about some hagelslag, stroopwafel, drop or broodje met kaas🍞🧀 instead?” Tick-tock 🕐goes the clock, it’s time to get back as I have to work round the clock. 👩💻
Oh boy! I am dol op (crazy about) those spicy potatoes. Laura Clery’s song “I eat potatoes (aardappels), you eat potatoes, we all eat potatoes,” is all that is doing the ding-dong now. 😵
I think of a hack for my snack as I get back to the restaurant with the little time left. “What’s the quest that makes you fret?” squeaks the man with one eyebrow raised,🤨who is dazzled by my face. 😉With a voice of a chipmunk and a nose like a trunk, 🐘🤥 the sparkling blue eyes and blinding red lips were the cause of my grin denting the dimple in my chin. Having to tilt my head up to a 6.5 ft tall hunk, “I need some spice… I … I mean some spicy food.”
“Well, we close early today, Miss, and I am afraid that mashed potatoes is all we have,” he says. Be it stamppot or Vada Pav, our ping-pong potatoes 🥔🥔are loved across the globe.
“Even that would suffice,” I grin. “I just need it fried alstublieft (please). I mean…” And politely I asked if we could pep it up a little digging out my Pav Bhaji Masala from my bag. As charming was his gesture, I was hoping not to show my dentures. 😜😂🤩
Frying the potatoes in olie (oil) with some zout (salt), peper (pepper), Pav Bhaji masala (specerij) en citroen🍋 with some mosterd (mustard), he now wonders, “Is that it?” “Maybe some bread to go with it?”
“Yaaa…. Or maybe some CHAKNA!” thinks the bier girl in me.🙇💭🙃“A zuinige man giving me this lekkere bun.😵 Hawww…”
“Oh my God!” my eyes just popped out 🙄when it dawned. “Ugh! Which bread for my Colgate teeth? Oh, but no. I have had four layers of Baba Ramdev’s Patanjali Dant Kanti on my toothbrush this morning.”😷
Wondering how much I was going to have to pay, now all I wanted was a chilli 🌶️️ for this dilly (of a dish). “Oh! No no. I don’t carry chillies in my purse,” I said to myself. “Well, as if he asked, duh!”🤦♀️️
So now I have a Dutch bread, a Vada (my fried pieper ̶ another name for aardappel) with my Pav Bhaji Masala.😋
I savour mijn Indiase gerecht (my Indian cuisine/dish). “Urr” 🤭burps my tummy as it is now blij (happy) with some complimentary aardbei.🍓
“But how can you give me something complimentary?” I squeaked.
“Why not?” he tweaked.
With us now roaring in laughter, his smile was targeting me for slaughter.
“Umm, guess I could ask that on my second date,” says the inquisitive me.
Now merry, I waved back at Jerry. “Oh! How about watching some Tom and Jerry?” 🐈🐁 ponders the couch potato in me! As naughty as ik ben, I hum back to my ‘den’: 🎼🎻
“Nanana… nananana …
Nog zoveel te doen, zo weinig tijd
Op jacht naar mijn dromen, anders krijg ik spijt.”💃
Jeroen van der Boom
Stroopwafel (Syrup waffle) Oliebollen (Oil balls/dumplings)
Hagelslag (Bread with chocolate sprinkles) Frikandel en Frietjes (Sort of hot dog and fries)
Kroket (Croquette) Bitterballen (Meat-based)
Drop (Liquorice) Stamppot (also called Boerenkool, i.e. mashed potatoes with kale and sausage)
Pepernoten (Spicy biscuits) Pannenkoeken (Pancakes)
